The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina
by Fizzy 13
Summary: Yes, somebody decided to do it. It was only a matter of time, really. Mikuru Asahina is sent back in time to stop Yuki Nagato from taking Nexus Prime, a devastating psychic power. Oh so VERY AU. Trailer is up, waiting for feedback before I continue.


AN: The idea was inspired by a certain bit of an insane, but rather awesome (IMHO), theory regarding the Haruhiverse on the meta level. To quote said theory, ad verbatim, "The entire series is an _Adventures of Mikuru Asahina_ Self Insert Fic. Haruhi is an original-character Mary Sue. The author, American 7th-grader Harriet Sussmeyer, ships Itsuki with the canonically minor character Kyon (yet fails to come up with an actual name for him), refuses to believe Yuki is the villain, and has a Deviant Art account full of drawings of Mikuru in random costumes. Naturally, she's much better acquainted with the conventions of anime than with those of actual Japanese society, on which she Did Not Do The Research."

This is basically me taking that idea and expounding on it. What would an actual Adventures of Mikuru Asahina be like? Well, this little 'trailer' will be a taste of it, or at least my idea of it. Yes, I'm aware it's a **CHEESY **Trailer. That's the point. I mean, Episode 00 was cheesy to the max, wasn't it? I was going for a movie trailer, so yeah...

Anyway, I'm very open to reader suggestions, so if you have any, don't hesitate to PM me. And as always, reviews are most welcome and will be devoured like the succulent grapes they are. As a final reminder, this is an 'AU' of sorts, so some character personalities might (and probably will) radically differ from the series. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: Tanigawa-sama owns these awesome characters. I'm just borrowing them to mess around with a crazy theory that I don't own either. This concept belongs to... that troper who wrote it down in the first place. Tanigawa-sama owns the general plot of esper boy with future girl protector and evil alien witch villain. What do I have to contribute? Erm... just an expansion of the shallow storyline, which, if taken from the theory's perspective, is a result of Harriet Sussmeyer's hilariously bad portrayal of the series in Episode 00.

Coming Soon...

A Fizzy Productions Production...

A Fizzy 13 Fanfic...

When the fate of all time and space is at stake...

[Mikuru and Itsuki are in the park, hiding from Yuki behind a building]

Mikuru: "Nexus Prime is a Type III Psionic Resonance Force,"

[Mikuru slaps a pair of clips into her pistols and locks, a serious expression on her face]

Mikuru: "That is to say, a powerful existence capable of completely fracturing this Time Plane... or worse..."

[Mikuru stands up, her back against a wall, pistols raised in preparation to fight]

When cosmic forces conspire against all that is reasonable...

[Itsuki and Taniguchi are walking up the hill to North High]

[Yuki comes out of nowhere and walks uphill, passing them]

[As Yuki passes by Itsuki and Taniguchi, slow motion effects kick in]

[Yuki's gaze meets Itsuki's for a brief moment, captured in a still frame]

Kyon: [Narrating] You can imagine the slow motion effects kicking in and this mysterious bespectacled girl's blank gaze meeting his own, a moment frozen in the annals of time and the ledger of destiny... Um... o... kay... Who the hell writes this crap?

When the dark side has the upper hand...

[Yuki, dressed in a dark side-ish outfit, floats above a torn battlefield and looks down at a wounded Mikuru]

Yuki: "Sterling Inferno."

Sterling Inferno: [In a synthesized female voice] "ALL RIGHT."

Yuki: "Compile and run: Data Buster v1.0."

Sterling Inferno: "DATA BUSTER: SET UP."

[Yuki points Sterling Inferno at Mikuru]

Yuki: "Data Buster. Fire."

There's only one thing you can do...

[Mikuru, with some effort, stands up and puts her fingers on her right eye in a V sign as she looks up at the approaching beam]

Only one thing you can say...

Mikuru: Mikuru Beeeeeaaaaaaam!

[Mikuru's right eye starts glowing before unleashing a red beam that collides with and pushes against Yuki's white beam]

[Fade to Black]

**The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina**

[Mikuru and Itsuki are standing in the middle of the North High gym in the middle of the night]

[Shadows dash by the camera from different angles, making scratching sounds as they move]

Mikuru: Uh oh... trouble...

Itsuki: What kind?

[Mikuru pulls out her handguns and holds them up at the ready]

[Cave Crickets as large as dogs start jumping out of the shadows and head for them]

Mikuru: Not the kind that I like!

[Mikuru starts shooting]

**Coming January 2009**

AN: Urk... after looking at this, I can't help but think... Shonen... Shonen... Shonen... Ah well. If I get enough positive reviews, I'll do a go-ahead. So drop one by, if you please! [Sits at a table, awaiting reviews] Oh, and for you guys who followed my crazy earlier attempt at writing, The Trouble With Timelines, I'd just like to say that I think I might just get back into the zone enough to continue it. This last year and a half has been quite a rut for me, to be honest. Sorry to have kept so quiet about it.


End file.
